Anxiety, Depression and Trauma

When I tell people I am a therapist, I’m usually hit with “oh nice, so you listen to people.” I just grin and nod. Most of us don’t really know how therapy works. We might have visions of someone lying on a couch talking, someone taking mysterious notes. The best metaphor I have ever heard is that therapy is a dark room and the therapist has a flashlight.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a client plop down on the couch and immediately share how “terribly” they’ve been “coping.” As those sessions go on, we often find they have actually been coping well. They’re just still feeling the effects of a past trauma, a recent experience, or even the stress of current life. So, to discuss what coping skills are, let’s discuss what they aren’t.

During periods of extreme stress, abuse, or trauma, our minds often put up protections. But once we're safe, our minds have let down defenses and now we're are having to deal with the pain those experiences caused.

Our nervous system is wired to protect us. When something feels threatening, our body automatically shifts into fight, flight, or freeze. These responses are not weaknesses — they’re brilliant survival strategies. The problem comes when the body doesn’t fully settle back down after the danger has passed. You might notice feeling constantly on edge, easily overwhelmed, shut down, or disconnected.

When people hear the word trauma, they often think of extreme or catastrophic events—war, abuse, or serious accidents. While those experiences absolutely qualify as trauma, they are not the only types that can have lasting psychological impact. In therapy and trauma-informed care, clinicians often talk about “Big T” trauma and “little t” trauma to help explain the wide range of experiences that can affect our nervous systems and emotional wellbeing.

Children experience big emotions just like adults do—fear, anger, sadness, confusion, and worry. The difference is that children often don’t yet have the language or emotional skills to explain what they are feeling.

Many people come to therapy expecting to talk through their problems. And for some, talking works well. But for others, putting emotions into words can feel difficult—especially when experiences are complex, overwhelming, or happened long ago.

Art can be a powerful way to express emotions that are difficult to put into words. You don’t need to be an artist to benefit from creative expression—sometimes simply putting color or shape on paper can help you understand what you’re feeling and release some internal tension. This simple exercise can help you check in with yourself and give your emotions a place to go.